You’re in love, your engaged and now what?

You’re in love, your engaged and now what?  You plan a big wedding have the party of a life time and live happily ever after? That’s what a lot of us believe but in reality, there are so many other adjustments and decisions to be made.

While you are engaged you must come together as a couple and start making important decisions like a budget both for the wedding and for after.. As you make these decisions together it will help you come together as a couple and make the wedding yours not just the brides. Imagine the difference on that big day on one hand she planned everything, and you just showed up.  Where on the other hand you and your fiancée sit together and make decisions. You keep the cost low and do somethings yourselves on that day it wouldn’t just be a celebration of your marriage, but you get to enjoy what you created together.

Also, you need to make decisions like which friends to keep, which to let go and how much they are going to be apart of your life. At first this may seem like a weird concept and you want to put up your walls. Your thinking why should I give up friends just because I’m getting married doesn’t mean I need to lose myself. But here’s the thing if you are choosing to be with this person then the relationship with your spouse is your most important relationship. And if you keep a best friend especially one of the opposite sex it can put a strain on your relationship with your spouse.

After your wedding there are even more adjustments to be made. For one example you now need to live with and think about another person 24/7. Everything you do affects the other person from how you leave to toilet seat to how you make food. There needs to be a lot of open communication between the two of you. This will allow you to understand each other and grow into a way of doing things together. If you don’t communicate then it can cause a lot of conflict and confusion. Like let’s say the wife came from a very laid-back home where there were chores, but things were always somewhat cluttered. And the husband came from a home where everything was spotless and organized. After there first few months of marriage he is getting tired of always cleaning up after her. Instead of talking it out and figuring out a system that worked for both of them it blows up into an argument.

As you adjust to marriage you have to have full communication with one another and keep your relationship alive. This also includes Continuing to date. You need to continue to pursue your spouse. As you get used to living with each other it’s easy to become roommates more than spouse, so you need to continue to date each other and keep your relationship alive. This will help you adjust to one another as you grow your relationship together. You also have to get use to being vulnerable to each other You are now sharing everything and although you know each other very well you need to continue to learn about your spouse. You also need to be more willing to let your spouse in. Share your feelings thoughts and past.

Also, one of the biggest adjustments might be getting use to each other’s family’s and deciding a how much there going to play a role in your lives. This will help you set boundaries and expectations, so you can know how to move forward and interact with each other’s family’s without causing conflict on your marriage.