Family Culture

Culture, what is culture? The Webster dictionary defines it as “the characteristic features of everyday existence (such as diversions or a way of life) shared by people in a place or time”. With this definition in mind think about family’s, your family. As we live together for long periods of time and are raised by the same people we tend to do, believe and think similarly. And each family does things their own way and they all differ from each other. Every family has their own unique culture.

For example, I grew up in a home where drinking soda was a normal everyday occurrence. My parents would both come home from work with a soda. Us kids would sip out of there drinks all the time and if we asked they would almost always get us one as well. I didn’t think anything of this until I had a roommate who grew up in a home where they never drank soda except for very special occasions and even then, were only allowed a small amount. This may be a silly example but its clear to see that our family cultures our completely different.

This is important for us to understand because our family culture shapes us into who we are. It’s what gives us our views on things like parenting practices or how often we should sweep the floor. These are things that seem like universal information to us but it’s really just your family. For example, you grew up in a home where the culture was you washed dishes right after you used them and put them away and you never left the kitchen dirty. But then you come to college and your roommate leaves her dishes in the sink for two days. In your world she is out of line and so dirty but in her family, they did the dishes once the sink was full and that’s all she knows. We have to be able to learn to see and understand people’s different family cultures.

This is important to know for relationships and for marriage because you are bringing two people together from two different family cultures. This couple now has a choice. Follow one of there cultures while giving up the others completely or working together to create their own culture for there new family. Taking the good from both of their families and getting rid of the bad. As a couple does this they can set goals for what kind of home and family they want.

I have an amazing example of this in my life. A woman who is a very close friend of mine grew up in a very hard home with a lot of challenging circumstances due to their family culture. When she got married to her husband not only did she take the time to tell him her experience and how it had shaped and affected her. But she expressed how she was determined for that not to be what her marriage her home would be like. As her and her husband communicated over the years and worked as a team they created their own culture. In this family culture all of her children even when they were teenagers always felt loved and that they could tell their parents everything and anything. What a beautiful opportunity for a husband and wife to come together as a team to create the life they want not only for themselves but for their children as well.  Her and her husband changed the culture for the better and have been an example to me of the kind of culture I want to create for my future family.