Affairs

I am probably one of the biggest romantics in the world. I just love love. But no matter how much I dream or look forward to that day that I fall in love and get married, I am also scared out of my mind! In truth it’s my biggest fear in life that the person I love more then anything will one day decide he no longer wants me or cheats on me. IN my life I have watched so many families and couples fall apart to someone not being faithful. Watching that pain and having felt some of that pain in my life from a unfaithful boyfriend makes me very weary and afraid of it also being a part of my marriage.

But thankfully I have learned a lot of things that have finally put my mind and heart at rest.  And has helped me to be able to have faith in getting married and not letting this fear stop me from one of the things that will be that most beautiful and joyful in my life. In order for me to properly explain the things that have brought me peace I first need to explain the four kinds of affairs. There is the Fantasy affair, visual affair, romantic affair, and sexual affair.

The fantasy affair is an emotional but not physical affair. This kind of affair usually includes flirting with someone over the internet or imagining being with someone other than your spouse. Although a lot of people would not consider this an affair it is an emotional one. You are desiring after someone who is not your spouse and it can lead to other kinds of Affairs. The Visual Affair/ pornography is physical but does not include another person. This is when a person watches or reads about nudity or sex to create pleasure or a physical arousal. The Romantic affair is emotional and there is another person who is involved to which there attached. This is when you have a relationship with someone else and have parallel lives. One is your normal life that has stressors and responsibility, while the other is this thrilling secret. Then the last is a sexual affair. This is when you are physically intimate with someone other then your spouse. Not only can this cause tremendous emotional turmoil but can also put the cheating spouse and the unknowing spouse at risk for STD’s. Each kind of these affairs are awful and can destroy families and marriages. This is because it destroys trust, intimacy and connection.

So, what is there to do? All of these affairs begin with little things. So, if we know what to look for and constantly check ourselves we can prevent ourselves for every getting our selves into these affairs.  The two best things anyone can do is to be on guard and fiercely loyal. This might look different for every couple, but you need to have open communication with your spouse about what they think are good safe grads. The best way I’ve ever heard it described is that once you date, get engaged and then married as a couple you have built a home board by board. It has been a lot of work, but it is absolutely beautiful. So now that you are married you must build a fence together to protect your relationship. But you must also stay inside your fence. As you set those boundaries and catch yourself when you find yourself getting closer to the fence you can protect your marriage. You can do this by making sure that friendships with the opposite sex are in good boundaries, that you aren’t flirtatious with others and that you continue to date your spouse.