Marriage and Children, The Best and Most Terrifying Words.

                Marriage and children, the best and most terrifying words. Who new that two words could on one had bring smiles, giggles and day dreams and on the other hand be someone’s worst night mare. Why do people react to these words so differently? Why do our own feelings swing between these two sides of the pendulum? This was one of my biggest questions. Being the hopeless romantic that I am I have always looked forward to marriage and children as the greatest things in the world. And have always looked forward to the day when these dreams will come true for me. But as I have talked to friends and others around me there are so many people that are terrified at the thought. As I have looked into it I believe it has a lot to do with the misconceptions about marriage and having a family that are so commonly excepted.

                Have you ever heard that half of all marriages end in Divorce? I know I have but the truth is that its all a myth. This myth comes from an incline in divorce rates that started in the 1960’s.  If this trend had continued at the rate it was going, then we would have seen our divorce rate eventually reach half or more. As this information was shared it became a well accept “fact”. When in reality it never even reached half, and since 1982 the divorce rates started to decline. The rates are now lower then they have been since the early 1970’s.

                 Another myth is that happily married people don’t have conflict. I know I thought this, when I was younger I thought one day I would meet the perfect guy and we would never have problems. I had the impression that if a couple fought or had arguments it meant that they weren’t happy. But it’s simply not true. You can disagree with someone and still be completely in love and happy with your marriage. Now I’m not saying that intense, aggressive and excessive fighting is healthy or ok.  But you can’t expect to live with and give your whole life to another person and never have conflict. The difference is how we handle and deal with that conflict or argument when it comes up. If we learn to approach these situations with an open mind and respect for each other it can actually strengthen your marriage rather than destroy it.

 Have you ever faced a project that was hard or really important to you? And you had your own idea of how it would work out. But then you worked with some one else and your ideas came together and created something amazing. Even better then you thought was possible. And it means that much more to you now, because of all the effort you put in together. Or on the other hand some one jumped in and you didn’t work together, and you were not open to their ideas at all and the project just ended up a jumbled mess. In relationships its not so much about if his or her way is better, as it is about coming together and finding your way as a couple.

I feel that these things are so important for everyone to understand but especially young adults. We’re in a time when so many people are afraid of marriage and it paralyzes them. More correctly there not afraid of marriage but afraid of the marriage ending so they never start it. They almost believe that their marriage would be out of their hands. But this simply isn’t true. According to different study’s there are things we can do to lessen the likely hood of divorce. They say if you have a good education, come from an intact family, are religious, and get married without having a baby out of wedlock then your chances of divorce are very low. The success of a marriage is based more on the decisions and choices we make, it’s about choosing to love some one enough that your willing to fight and work through anything with.